How It All Goes Down
- Lydia and Mr. Wickham make their grand appearance at Longbourn as husband and wife.
- Lydia is totally psyched. She keeps showing off her ring and demanding that everyone call her "Mrs. Wickham."
- Mr. Wickham has to be carried by servants and can barley talk because he's so bruised and crippled from his carriage accident. Plus, he smells like he's soiled himself.
- One morning, Lydia starts to tell Elizabeth all about her wedding, and she lets it slip that Mr. Darcy was there.
- Say what?
- Why on earth was Mr. Darcy at the wedding of Lydia and Mr. Wickham? Lydia won't say any more, so Elizabeth writes to Mrs. Gardiner to get the details.
- Mrs. Gardiner writes to explain the reason Mr. Darcy was at the wedding—he pretty much figured out everything between Lydia and Wickham. He found them in London and then convinced Mr. Wickham to marry Lydia by paying him. He also beat Mr. Wickham until he couldn't walk again and then said it was a carriage accident.
- That part was just for vengeance…and fun.
- Elizabeth can hardly believe what she's read. Mr. Darcy did all that for Lydia. Nuts.
- Then Mr. Wickham comes by and tries to strike up a conversation, but Elizabeth isn't having it. She sees right through him.
- This guy has totally lost his charm. He's also soiled himself again.
- Lydia and Mr. Wickham leave for Ireland soon after. It's good riddance, but Mrs. Bennet misses Lydia a lot.
- Pretty soon after that, the family hears that Mr. Bingley is coming back to Netherfield…with Mr. Darcy.
- The two men stop by for a visit one day, and Mrs. Bennet is mortifying as usual.
- Elizabeth is especially trying to keep her cool. She's trying to remind herself that she's a warrior who fears no man, but it's obvious that she's head over heels for Mr. Darcy. What does he think of her?
- Mrs. Bennet invites Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy back for a family dinner. This should be interesting.
- It's the night of the dinner, and Mr. Bingley sits by Jane. We're liking this development.
- Elizabeth keeps eyeing Mr. Darcy, but they're not really able to talk.
- Instead, Mr. Darcy has to sit next to Mrs. Bennet during dinner. Ugh.
- It's awful, because Elizabeth knows that her family owes Mr. Darcy big time for saving Lydia from scandal. She wishes she could jump up on the table and administer the seven cuts of shame to show him how sorry she is for all this.
- After dinner, Elizabeth keeps hoping Mr. Darcy will come over and talk to her, but it's no use.
- Then Elizabeth realizes that it's probably a lost cause. This guy would rather propose to a zombie than ask her to marry him again. Sigh.
- Mr. Darcy eventually heads back to London for a bit, but Mr. Bingley keeps visiting.
- Mrs. Bennet keeps trying to get Mr. Bingley and Jane alone so they can, well, you know. Okay, maybe you don't know—so he can propose to her.
- One day, after Mr. Bingley and Mr. Bennet get back from zombie hunting, it finally works. Mr. Bingley gets down on one knee and makes Jane the happiest girl in all of Hertfordshire.
- Everyone is thrilled for Jane, but Elizabeth can't help wonder if she'll ever find the same happiness…outside, cutting down the legions of the undead, that is.
- Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?