Mr. Collins

Character Analysis

Poor Mr. Collins. Sure, he's just as awkward and pompous and ridiculous as Jane Austen's original, but in this version, he's also married to a zombie:

The wedding took place, and no one other than Elizabeth seemed to suspect the bride's condition. Mr. Collins appeared happier than he ever had despite the fact that Charlotte had to be reminded to use her fork several times over the course of dinner. (26.17)

Yes, that's right. As we are repeatedly reminded, Mr. Collins is too stupid to realize that his beloved Charlotte is rotting away before his eyes. It isn't until "Lady Catherine de Bourgh condescend[s] to bring it to [his] attention in a most graceful manner" (48.9) that he figures it out. After that, he finds he has to behead his bride. Eww.

There's also a sad coda for Mr. Collins in this version: he actually kills himself at the end of the novel. Yeah. He ends his last letter to Mr. Bennet explaining that Charlotte has died and that he's taking his own life. Oh, poor Mr. Collins: no matter how annoying he was, we're not sure he deserved that.

Plus, he had one more letter to write—the one explaining that Elizabeth was about to be engaged to Mr. Darcy—and the letter doesn't really make sense coming from Colonel Fitzwilliam. Remember, the colonel likes Elizabeth and wouldn't care that Mr. Darcy was going to marry her.

Couldn't Mr. Collins have been devoured by a horde of zombies instead? We think Jane Austen would have approved of that.