Quote 19
"When can I go again?" I say. My smile stretches wide enough to show teeth, and when they laugh, I laugh. I think of climbing the stairs with the Abnegation, our feet finding the same rhythm, all of us the same. This isn't like that. We are not the same. But we are, somehow, one. (17.104)
Of course, Abnegation doesn't go zip lining around the city, even if it is a fast way to travel. But what's interesting to us about this event isn't the difference in factions' ideas of fun activities. (Candor probably plays truth or dare but always picks truth.) What interests us is that Tris can a sense of community and togetherness in both actions. So some values are shared from faction to faction.
Quote 20
Abnegation and Dauntless are both broken, their members scattered. We are like the factionless now. I do not know what life will be like, separated from a faction—it feels disengaged, like a leaf divided from the tree that gives it sustenance. We are creatures of loss; we have left everything behind. I have no home, no path, and no certainty. I am no longer Tris, the selfless, or Tris, the brave.
I suppose that now, I must become more than either. (39.87-8)
The collapse of society sure sounds promising. And we're only kind of joking: notice how Tris spends a long paragraph describing how bad things are—two out of five factions seriously messed up, everything lost and left behind. But then Tris notes that she'll have to grow her identity even more than she already has. Society may be collapsing by the end of the book, but there still seems to be some hope in the individual and family and friends, right?
Quote 21
When I look at the Abnegation lifestyle as an outsider, I think it's beautiful. When I watch my family move in harmony; when we go to dinner parties and everyone cleans together afterward without having to be asked; when I see Caleb help strangers carry their groceries, I fall in love with this life all over again. It's only when I try to live it myself that I have trouble. It never feels genuine.
But choosing a different faction means I forsake my family. Permanently. (3.36-7)
This book does not waste time with the whole family vs. identity vs. faction conflict, which Tris lays out nicely here. Notice the movement: (a) my family and faction are beautiful to (b) I don't belong here. That's not a great transition; and she experiences this disappointment of not belonging "all over again."