Hautboys playing loud music. A great banquet served
in, and then enter Lord Timon, the States, the Athenian
Lords (including Lucius), Alcibiades, and Ventidius
(which Timon redeemed from prison). Flavius and others
are in attendance. Then comes dropping after all
Apemantus discontentedly like himself. VENTIDIUS
Most honored Timon,
It hath pleased the gods to remember my father’s age
And call him to long peace.
He is gone happy and has left me rich.
Then, as in grateful virtue I am bound 5
To your free heart, I do return those talents,
Doubled with thanks and service, from whose help
I derived liberty. He offers a purse. TIMON
O, by no means,
Honest Ventidius. You mistake my love. 10
I gave it freely ever, and there’s none
Can truly say he gives if he receives.
If our betters play at that game, we must not dare
To imitate them. Faults that are rich are fair. VENTIDIUS
A noble spirit! 15 TIMON
Nay, my lords, ceremony was but devised at first
To set a gloss on faint deeds, hollow welcomes,
Recanting goodness, sorry ere ’tis shown;
But where there is true friendship, there needs none.
Pray, sit. More welcome are you to my fortunes 20
Than my fortunes to me. They sit. FIRST LORD
My lord, we always have confessed it. APEMANTUS
Ho, ho, “confessed it”? Hanged it, have you not? TIMON
O Apemantus, you are welcome. APEMANTUS
No, you shall not make me welcome. 25
I come to have thee thrust me out of doors. TIMON
Fie, thou ’rt a churl. You’ve got a humor there
Does not become a man. ’Tis much to blame.—
They say, my lords, Ira furor brevis est, but yond
man is ever angry. Go, let him have a table by 30
himself, for he does neither affect company, nor is
he fit for ’t indeed. APEMANTUS
Let me stay at thine apperil, Timon. I
come to observe; I give thee warning on ’t. TIMON I take no heed of thee. Thou ’rt an Athenian, 35
therefore welcome. I myself would have no power;
prithee, let my meat make thee silent. APEMANTUS I scorn thy meat. ’Twould choke me, for I
should ne’er flatter thee. (Apart.) O you gods,
what a number of men eats Timon, and he sees ’em 40
not! It grieves me to see so many dip their meat in
one man’s blood; and all the madness is, he cheers
them up too.
I wonder men dare trust themselves with men.
Methinks they should invite them without knives. 45
Good for their meat, and safer for their lives.
There’s much example for ’t. The fellow that sits
next him, now parts bread with him, pledges the
breath of him in a divided draft, is the readiest
man to kill him. ’T ’as been proved. If I were a huge 50
man, I should fear to drink at meals,
Lest they should spy my wind-pipe’s dangerous
notes.
Great men should drink with harness on their
throats. 55 TIMON, responding to a toast
My lord, in heart! And let the health go round. SECOND LORD
Let it flow this way, my good lord. | Everyone is invited to a banquet at Timon's house. There's music, laughter, and excellent food. Ventidius comes in and thanks Timon for getting him out of debt. Timon's all, "No problem, man. It's the least I could do for a friend." Of course, gloomy Apemantus isn't happy to be there. He makes a point of telling Timon all about it, and he gets called a "churl" in response. Oh, snap. Timon is too nice to let the grumpiness continue. He offers Apemantus some meat, but Eeyore insists he's not enough of a brownnoser to take anything from Timon. "Don't you see that these fools are just using you?" Apemantus asks Timon. Nothing can ruin Timon's mood, not even grumpy Apemantus. Timon proposes a toast of health and good cheer. |
APEMANTUS, apart
“Flow this way”? A brave fellow.
He keeps his tides well. Those healths will make
thee and thy state look ill, Timon. 60
Here’s that which is too weak to be a sinner,
Honest water, which ne’er left man i’ th’ mire.
This and my food are equals. There’s no odds.
Feasts are too proud to give thanks to the gods. Apemantus’ grace. Immortal gods, I crave no pelf. 65
I pray for no man but myself.
Grant I may never prove so fond
To trust man on his oath or bond,
Or a harlot for her weeping,
Or a dog that seems a-sleeping, 70
Or a keeper with my freedom,
Or my friends if I should need ’em.
Amen. So fall to ’t.
Rich men sin, and I eat root.
He eats and drinks.
Much good dich thy good heart, Apemantus! 75 TIMON
Captain Alcibiades, your heart’s in the field now. ALCIBIADES
My heart is ever at your service, my lord. TIMON
You had rather be at a breakfast of enemies
than a dinner of friends. ALCIBIADES
So they were bleeding new, my lord, 80
there’s no meat like ’em. I could wish my best
friend at such a feast. APEMANTUS, apart
Would all those flatterers were
thine enemies, then, that then thou mightst kill
’em and bid me to ’em. 85 FIRST LORD
Might we but have that happiness, my
lord, that you would once use our hearts, whereby
we might express some part of our zeals, we
should think ourselves forever perfect. TIMON O, no doubt, my good friends, but the gods 90
themselves have provided that I shall have much
help from you. How had you been my friends else?
Why have you that charitable title from thousands,
did not you chiefly belong to my heart? I have told
more of you to myself than you can with modesty 95
speak in your own behalf. And thus far I confirm
you. O you gods, think I, what need we have any
friends if we should ne’er have need of ’em? They
were the most needless creatures living, should we
ne’er have use for ’em, and would most resemble 100
sweet instruments hung up in cases, that keeps
their sounds to themselves. Why, I have often
wished myself poorer that I might come nearer to
you. We are born to do benefits. And what better or
properer can we call our own than the riches of 105
our friends? O, what a precious comfort ’tis to
have so many, like brothers, commanding one
another’s fortunes. O, joy’s e’en made away ere ’t
can be born! Mine eyes cannot hold out water,
methinks. To forget their faults, I drink to you. 110 APEMANTUS, apart Thou weep’st to make them drink,
Timon. SECOND LORD
Joy had the like conception in our eyes
And, at that instant, like a babe sprung up. APEMANTUS, apart
Ho, ho! I laugh to think that babe a bastard. 115 THIRD LORD
I promise you, my lord, you moved me much. APEMANTUS, apart Much! Sound tucket. TIMON
What means that trump? Enter Servant. How now? SERVANT
Please you, my lord, there are certain ladies 120
most desirous of admittance. TIMON
Ladies? What are their wills? SERVANT
There comes with them a forerunner, my lord,
which bears that office to signify their pleasures. TIMON I pray, let them be admitted. 125 Servant exits. Enter “Cupid.” CUPID
Hail to thee, worthy Timon, and to all
That of his bounties taste! The five best senses
Acknowledge thee their patron, and come freely
To gratulate thy plenteous bosom. There
Taste, touch, all, pleased from thy table rise; 130
They only now come but to feast thine eyes. TIMON
They’re welcome all. Let ’em have kind admittance.
Music, make their welcome! LUCIUS
You see, my lord, how ample you’re beloved. Music. Enter the masque of Ladies as Amazons,
with lutes in their hands, dancing and playing. | Two can play at this game: Apemantus says he'll take Timon's "health" and make it "look ill." At least that's what will happen to Timon for giving so much to his friends. All these people, Apemantus says, are drenched in Timon's blood. Apemantus makes a few more sarcastic quips while Timon talks with his other guests. Timon takes it upon himself to deliver a heartfelt speech. He tells his guests how he wishes he were poor so he could be closer to them. Um, okay. Let's get ready to par-tay, because Cupid and a bunch of ladies have just arrived, prepared to dance. |
APEMANTUS, apart
Hoy-day! 135
What a sweep of vanity comes this way.
They dance? They are madwomen.
Like madness is the glory of this life
As this pomp shows to a little oil and root.
We make ourselves fools to disport ourselves 140
And spend our flatteries to drink those men
Upon whose age we void it up again
With poisonous spite and envy.
Who lives that’s not depravèd or depraves?
Who dies that bears not one spurn to their graves 145
Of their friends’ gift?
I should fear those that dance before me now
Would one day stamp upon me. ’T ’as been done.
Men shut their doors against a setting sun. The Lords rise from table, with much adoring of Timon,
and to show their loves each single out an Amazon, and
all dance, men with women, a lofty strain or two to the
hautboys, and cease. TIMON
You have done our pleasures much grace, fair ladies, 150
Set a fair fashion on our entertainment,
Which was not half so beautiful and kind.
You have added worth unto ’t and luster,
And entertained me with mine own device.
I am to thank you for ’t. 155 FIRST LADY
My lord, you take us even at the best. APEMANTUS, apart
Faith, for the worst is filthy and
would not hold taking, I doubt me. TIMON
Ladies, there is an idle banquet attends you.
Please you to dispose yourselves. 160 ALL LADIES
Most thankfully, my lord. Cupid and Ladies exit. TIMON Flavius. FLAVIUS
My lord? TIMON The little casket bring me hither. FLAVIUS Yes, my lord. (Aside.) More jewels yet? 165
There is no crossing him in ’s humor;
Else I should tell him well, i’ faith I should.
When all’s spent, he’d be crossed then, an he could.
’Tis pity bounty had not eyes behind,
That man might ne’er be wretched for his mind. 170 He exits. FIRST LORD
Where be our men? SERVANT Here, my lord, in readiness. SECOND LORD
Our horses. Enter Flavius, with the casket. TIMON
O my friends, I have one word
To say to you. Look you, my good lord, 175
I must entreat you, honor me so much
As to advance this jewel. Accept it and wear it,
Kind my lord. FIRST LORD
I am so far already in your gifts— ALL
So are we all. 180 Enter a Servant. SERVANT
My lord, there are certain nobles of the Senate
Newly alighted and come to visit you. TIMON
They are fairly welcome. Servant exits. FLAVIUS
I beseech your Honor,
Vouchsafe me a word. It does concern you near. 185 TIMON
Near? Why, then, another time I’ll hear thee.
I prithee, let’s be provided to show them
entertainment. FLAVIUS, aside I scarce know how. Enter another Servant. SECOND SERVANT
May it please your Honor, Lord Lucius, 190
Out of his free love, hath presented to you
Four milk-white horses trapped in silver. TIMON
I shall accept them fairly. Let the presents
Be worthily entertained. Servant exits. Enter a third Servant. How now? What news? 195 THIRD SERVANT
Please you, my lord, that honorable
gentleman Lord Lucullus entreats your company
tomorrow to hunt with him and has sent your
Honor two brace of greyhounds. TIMON
I’ll hunt with him; and let them be received, 200
Not without fair reward. Servant exits. FLAVIUS, aside What will this come to?
He commands us to provide, and give great gifts,
And all out of an empty coffer.
Nor will he know his purse or yield me this— 205
To show him what a beggar his heart is,
Being of no power to make his wishes good.
His promises fly so beyond his state
That what he speaks is all in debt; he owes
For ev’ry word. He is so kind that he 210
Now pays interest for ’t. His land’s put to their books.
Well, would I were gently put out of office
Before I were forced out.
Happier is he that has no friend to feed
Than such that do e’en enemies exceed. 215
I bleed inwardly for my lord. He exits. | Just when we think it's going to go Lionel Richie-style—all night long—Timon tells his steward Flavius to fetch his casket of jewels. As Flavius runs off, he tells the audience in an aside that Timon is spending more than he should. Brain snack: an aside is used in theater when someone says something that no one else on stage can hear. It's basically a secret note passed just to the audience. Timon starts giving out jewels like they're going out of style, and Flavius asks to speak with him in private. No, that can wait, Timon says: let's have some fun. All the guests are stoked, but Flavius warns us again that Timon is overspending. We're beginning to think this isn't just a one-time thing. |
TIMON, to Lords
You do yourselves much wrong.
You bate too much of your own merits. Offering a gift. Here, my lord, a trifle of our love. SECOND LORD
With more than common thanks I will receive it. 220 THIRD LORD
O, he’s the very soul of bounty! TIMON
And now I remember, my lord, you gave good
words the other day of a bay courser I rode on. ’Tis
yours because you liked it. FIRST LORD
O, I beseech you, pardon me, my lord, in that. 225 TIMON
You may take my word, my lord. I know no man
Can justly praise but what he does affect.
I weigh my friends’ affection with mine own.
I’ll tell you true, I’ll call to you. ALL LORDS
O, none so welcome. 230 TIMON
I take all and your several visitations
So kind to heart, ’tis not enough to give.
Methinks I could deal kingdoms to my friends
And ne’er be weary.—Alcibiades,
Thou art a soldier, therefore seldom rich. 235
It comes in charity to thee, for all thy living
Is ’mongst the dead, and all the lands thou hast
Lie in a pitched field. ALCIBIADES
Ay, defiled land, my lord. FIRST LORD
We are so virtuously bound— 240 TIMON And so am I to you. SECOND LORD
So infinitely endeared— TIMON
All to you.—Lights, more lights. FIRST LORD
The best of happiness, honor, and fortunes
Keep with you, Lord Timon. 245 TIMON Ready for his friends. All but Timon and Apemantus exit. APEMANTUS
What a coil’s here,
Serving of becks and jutting-out of bums!
I doubt whether their legs be worth the sums
That are given for ’em. Friendship’s full of dregs. 250
Methinks false hearts should never have sound legs.
Thus honest fools lay out their wealth on court’sies. TIMON
Now, Apemantus, if thou wert not sullen,
I would be good to thee. APEMANTUS
No, I’ll nothing, for if I should be bribed 255
too, there would be none left to rail upon thee, and
then thou wouldst sin the faster. Thou giv’st so
long, Timon, I fear me thou wilt give away thyself
in paper shortly. What needs these feasts, pomps,
and vainglories? 260 TIMON
Nay, an you begin to rail on society once, I am
sworn not to give regard to you. Farewell, and
come with better music. He exits. APEMANTUS
So. Thou wilt not hear me now, thou shalt
not then. I’ll lock thy heaven from thee. 265
O, that men’s ears should be
To counsel deaf, but not to flattery! He exits. | Timon bestows all of his guests with more gifts, and then they eventually leave. Only Apemantus remains, with a warning that only fools give all their money away. "Don't worry so much, Apemantus. Let me give you some gifts, too," Timon pleads. But Apemantus will have none of it. He can't be bought, and he won't flatter Timon, either. |