Drugs and Alcohol Quotes in The Art of Fielding

How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)

Quote #10

A pill was the opposite of what [Henry] wanted. A pill was an answer that somebody else had worked hard to come up with. He didn't want that. A pill was small and potent. He wanted something huge and empty. (68.39)

At first it seems like Henry is turning down the pill because he doesn't want to take the easy way out of a problem, but then it seems like he just doesn't want to do anything at all, and he's avoiding the pill because it might make him better. Why do you think Henry avoids taking antidepressants even though he's peeing in Gatorade bottles and saving them as though that's perfectly normal?