Interview with Nekhbet
Raw Egypt!
So, I was thinking about writing a cooking blog. Last time I was over at Hathor's house for one of those big parties she throws—you know how she and Horus the Elder get about inviting everybody over for beer and a barbecue at the end of every season—I was standing in the kitchen watching Isis pull all these tiny little cupcakes out of the hearth. And I thought, you know? I could make something better than cupcakes.
Then I remembered that I never cook anything I eat. In fact, I don't even kill my own food most of the time. Being a vulture isn't the best when it comes to finding your own food. Because of my weak feet, I never seem to be able to kill my own meat. And have you been to the grocery store lately? There are so many brands. I just can't pick anything. So I go home and find something there, either whatever Wadjet left in the fridge, or sometimes, I hang out with Anubis and eat whatever his jackals dragged in. Mice and road kill every night gets old, though.
So I'm bored, and I want a change. I don't get to go out following the war chariots often enough. We get the best food on the warpath, let me tell you! Phoenicians and Nubians and Hittites, oh my. Sometimes, if I'm lucky, the enemy hires mercenaries from Athens, and we get to eat Greek food! Get it? Greek food! LOL.
What do you think? A blog called Raw Egypt, with recipes for culinary carrion. Would anybody read it? Is there a market for raw dead things you found out in the street, or am I just crazy?
Comments:
Anubis: You GO, girl! The guys and I can't wait to see what you come up with. Maybe some ideas for sauces to go with leftover crocodile eggs? Om nom nom.
Nekhbet responds: Ooh, eggs Benedict-hotep! Sure thing.
CobraGoddess12: You're the one who's been eating my mice? I don't believe it. I thought we were friends!
Nekhbet responds: Of course we're friends! I didn't know you were saving them. You usually eat them right after you kill them.
CobraGoddess12: That doesn't give you any excuse to take them without asking.
Nekhbet responds: Sorry.
Rameses II: Glad you've been enjoying the trips with me. You know we're heading up to Hatti next season, right? There'll be all kinds of Hittite parts for you to pick through.
Muwatalli II: You never know who's reading these blogs, Ramsey-boy. Is that a threat?
Rameses II: It's a promise, Hittite scum. Next spring. Kadesh, near the banks of the Orontes. Be there.
Muwatalli II: Oh, we'll be there all right. Tell your goddess friend she'll be feasting on YOUR corpse.
Rameses II: ooooooh. I'm so scared.
Nekhbet responds: Boys, boys, no fighting on my blog. Next spring we'll get together and have a nice big party over a peace treaty. How about that?
Rameses II: This isn't fighting. He'll see fighting next spring. Mark my words.