Quote 4
"Maybe. Maybe there's more we all could have done," he says, "but we just have to let the guilt remind us to do better next time."
I frown and pull back. That is a lesson that members of Abnegation learn—guilt as a tool, rather than a weapon against the self. It is a line straight from one of my father's lectures at our weekly meetings. (24.107-8)
Great, Tris meets a nice (but wounded and mysterious) boy—and he starts talking like her father, which is a total turn-off. But he does have a theory of guilt that might help. So now Tris has two methods of dealing with guilt: trying to act like her parents and trying to do better next time—both of them Abnegation lessons.
Quote 5
"This is what I chose. This is it." I look over Robert's shoulder. The Dauntless guards seem to have finished examining the truck. The bearded man gets back into the driver's seat and closes the door behind him. "Besides, Robert. The goal of my life isn't just...to be happy." (11.77)
Here, Tris talking to ex-Abnegation neighbor Robert, who has chosen to switch to Amity, where he farms and sings. That sounds like an okay life, right? But when he presents this option to Tris, she responds that she doesn't choose things just to make her happy. That sounds a little Abnegation to us. And also a little judgy.