How we cite our quotes: (Line)
Quote #4
Nay in all that toil, that coil, since (seems) I kissed the rod,
Hand rather, my heart lo! lapped strength, stole joy, would laugh, chéer. (10-11)
"Kiss[ing] the rod" of his punishment here, or the hand that wielded the rod, indicates a kind of perverse gratitude on the speaker's part. Now that he knows that he can endure the depths of depression, he's grateful to whatever force (Despair, or Despair-sent-by-God) put him through his trials in the first place. He's learned how to persevere, and for that he seems truly thankful.