Texas Stadium Characters

Character Analysis

Ennis

Ennis is the Cowboys' equipment manager. He gives Dime and Billy a behind-the-scenes tour of all the crap it takes to run a football empire.

F-Bomb Exec

An guy who doesn't even deserve a name, Billy christens this dude F-Bomb Exec because he cracks a lame joke about why they keep the War Room so dimly lit.

March and Margaret Hawey

The Haweys are some super, super rich people who get to hang out in Norm's owner's suite. March is known as "Mr. Swift Boat," which is supposed to make him a big deal, but it's never revealed to the readers what exactly Mr. Swift Boat did to earn the moniker. Did he help organize the smear campaign against John Kerry? We have no idea.

Hector

Hector is the nice waiter who helps Billy and Mango get high at the game.

Jim

Jim is one of the execs in Norm Oglesby's War Room.

Josh

Josh is Bravo's Cowboys liaison, and he's a smooth dude. As Billy describes him:

The very picture of young corporate America on the move, is Josh. He is tall, toned, handsome as a J.Crew model, with a nose straight and fine as a compass needle and a brilliant shock of glossy black hair, the sight of which triggers subliminal itchings in the Bravos' peach-fuzz scalps. It has already been a matter of some debate as to whether Josh is gay, the consensus being no, he's just your basic corporate pussy boy. (Human Response.39)

Even though he's a "basic corporate pussy boy," he's all right in Bravo's book. They good-naturedly rib him, and he takes it pretty well; it's obvious that he really is trying to make their experience at Texas Stadium as pleasant as possible.

Now if only he could remember some dang Advil for poor Billy.

Bill Jones

Bill Jones is the Cowboys executive who helps give Billy a respite during one of the many meet-and-greets. Check it out:

It is apparently the Cowboys' corporate culture that all executives must resemble sales managers at a Ford dealership, and this one—he introduces himself, Bill Jones—fits the mold. Plain, balding, full in the face, with a second-trimester heft to his middle, yet he radiates a vibe that Billy feels at once, a good working tool of controlled aggression. A rubbery impatience seems to flow through all his movements. (All Americans.37)

Bill Jones is also the guy packing heat at the game, a detail that inflames Billy to homicidal thoughts (although he's not quite sure why—maybe it's the idea that people like Bill don't have any idea what gun violence is actually like in real life). It's also Bill Jones's gun that gets thrown to the ground during the fight with the roadies at the end of the novel.

Skip Oglesby

Skip is one of Norm's sons. He's in the War Room during the game.

Todd Oglesby

Todd's another one of Norm's sons in the War Room during the game.

Octavian Spurgeon

Octavian is the Cowboy in the locker room—he's #8—who gets really interested in temporarily joining up with Bravo so that he could kill a few people and then come home. He's actually kinda scary, that way.