Atum (Tem)'s Conversations

Atum (Tem)'s Conversations

Wall

Shu

Hey, dad! Guess what?

Atum

What's that?

Shu

Tefnut and I are getting married!

Atum

That'd be weird... but, since there's nobody else alive in the world yet, that's fine, I guess.

Atum

is watching Game of Thrones season 2 in preparation for the next big cataclysm in the Seven Kingdoms.

Thutmose III

Your Majesty, would you mind helping me out?

Atum

Sure, lil' one. What do you need?

Thutmose III

Would you mind wiping out my stepmom/aunt for me? You know, Hatshepsut, that really annoying pharaoh…

Atum

She's really good at sacrificing stuff.... so let's wait a bit.

Ra

Atum, are we ourselves this week or are we Re-Atum?

Atum

Um, not sure. Check your scheduler.

Osiris

Am I dead yet?

Atum

Ask Seth—he's the one who's gonna kill you.

Osiris

Oh, yeah. I forgot about being omniscient and all that.

Atum

is developing the Atum-ic Bomb, which gives creative inspiration to all who witness it.

Ptah

Have you read The Hunger Games yet? Soooo good.

Atum

I haven't. I'm still stuck on Twilight.

Atum

Man, this 4-minute ab workout is really kicking my butt!

Tiye

Go for a swim in the Nile. You smell, O divine one!

Khnum

Did I create the world or did you?

Atum

I did!

Khnum

No, I did!

Isis

Boys, settle down. Here are some pyramid Legos to play with.

Atum

is reading The 4-Hour Work Week.

Osiris

How long did it take you to create the Earth?

Atum

Less than four hours. This guy needs to pick up the pace!

Ptah

Wanna go make some pots?

Atum

Aren't you tired of that? That's all you do. Make pottery.

Ptah

I could use a new ashtray.

Amenhotep I

Your Majesty, would you mind flooding the Nile for us?

Atum

Sorry. Wrong god.

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