Seat Belts—Unfortunately NOT Designed by Ralph Lauren

Seat Belts—Unfortunately NOT Designed by Ralph Lauren

We know; it’s going to wrinkle your outfit. You just ate a big meal, and it feels uncomfortable to strap it across your gut. When you get carjacked by a gang of armed thugs, you want to be free to leap out your window and dash to safety. Understandable.

Tough noogies. You are required by law to wear your seat belt, and if that isn’t reason enough, they just might save your life. That would be good, because you have plans this weekend.

You must make sure that you and all passengers aged four to 16 are securely strapped into a seatbelt or appropriate child restraint device before hitting the road (so, for example, Chihuahuas, stuffed animals, and forest pixies would be exempt). Ever seen a kid who has been flung into a window at 60 mph? You don't want to. And more importantly, you don't wanna be the idiot who didn't make them buckle up and in.

Transporting someone younger than four or a very tiny child four or older? Well, they need to be sitting in a child passenger restraint system. And there are rules for exactly what kind of system to use (children younger than 0 should be tightly buckled into their mother’s womb):

• A child less than one year of age or a child one year of age or older who weighs less than 20lbs. must be properly secured in a rear-facing child safety seat (and while it isn’t a law, Shmoop seriously suggests making sure that rear-facing seat is in the back row of seats in your vehicle, if there is a back row of seats);
• A child who is more than one year old but less than five years old and who weighs 20lbs. or more must be properly secured in a child restraint device;
• A child who is over fours years old but less than eight years old and who is less than 57” tall and weighs between 20 and 65lbs. must be properly secured in a booster seat secured by a seat belt or in another appropriate child restraint device;
• A child who is eight years old or older but who does not meet the above height and/or weight requirements must unfortunately still be secured in a child restraint device (and bulked up a bit).

If a passenger in your vehicle under the age of 16 is caught not wearing his or her seat belt, YOU will be penalized, so don’t hesitate to let the mother in you come to the surface (regardless of your gender), and be sure to nag everyone around you into being safe and responsible.

Also, don’t think that just fastening the lap belt is good enough. If you value your head and torso area as much as your pelvis and nether regions, please also use the shoulder harness.

If you’re pregnant, the lap belt should be worn beneath your abdomen (that’s where you’re keeping your baby), and the shoulder strap should be placed between your breasts. We figure this might not apply to too many of our readers, but it did give us the chance to use the word “breasts”.