Anthropology: What you say to the insects whose hill you have just accidentally stepped on. Hold up—that's an ant apology. Let's try this again....

Anthropology: the study of the development and behavior of human beings. Oh yeah. That sounds like a career. Isn't that what George Clooney does?

No, seriously. It sounds like a bunch of guys in lab coats observing a roomful of men and women through one-way glass and recording their actions onto a sheet of notebook paper. How in the world are you going to make money or add productively to society by doing that? As with most long words that the majority of us don't fully understand, there's more to anthropology than meets the one-way glass.

Anthropologists may study trends in overpopulation and devise ways to reverse them (short of walking into people's homes and personally strapping contraceptives on them, of course). Google how China dealt with their overpopulation issues—it was a real hoot.

Anthropologists may also study and eventually better understand other cultures, so that perhaps we will not be so much at odds with them one day and there will be less warfare between nations  (or to at least learn their schedules so we know when would be the best time to launch a sneak attack).

Physical anthropologists are more concerned with bones than cultural trends; they study the remains of men and women uncovered at archaeological sites to learn how and why they died or contracted disease, and how we can avoid their mistakes. Ever heard of Lucy?  She was the first "hominid" (human-like-thing) who we think trolled the earth on two legs, gossiped about her neighbors, and carried angst over her taxes.

^{She would have loved this show.}

More Low-Down: More Poop

Also, you may have heard that we haven't been treating our planet so well for the past couple of centuries. We're now in the midst of what is referred to as the Anthropocene era—basically, the period of time in which humans have found numerous ways to take a toxic dump on our environment. Anthropologists study (and hopefully find solutions for) these problems as well. 

The Big A isn't just about studying mankind so that we may have some entertaining dinner table conversation. There are real, applicable uses for the knowledge that is gleaned via their research, some of which may prove essential to the long-term continuation and propagation of our species. Whether or not you believe that's a good idea is another issue altogether.

Most anthropologists work in either academia, where they're employed by a high school or college and pass on their knowledge of "all things man" to the bright, eager minds of tomorrow, or they're employed by the federal government. There, they may be involved in international development, natural resource management, forensic and physical anthropology, cultural resource management, or in defense and security. Others may be employed by corporations (maybe an environmentally-conscious company wants to be sure that they are building and running their new office in the most "green" way possible) or by non-profit organizations. Really, anthropologists can be just about anywhere. Except outside during the daytime. No—that's vampires. Well, at least the more UV-sensitive anthropologists stay inside, anyway.

It takes a real thirst for knowledge to be a successful anthropologist. And, if you're working a lot in a desert somewhere, it probably helps if you don't have as great a thirst for water. The constant learning aspect is great if you're one of those "student of life" people; if you end up teaching anthropology, then it's great if you're more the "teacher of life" variety. The job can be tremendously rewarding, especially when your efforts help us understand more about ourselves and teach us new ways to live, so that we don't blow everything up or accidentally flood and submerge the Netherlands.

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