You might be a finely responsible young man or woman, but statistics don't lie. You have too many minor brethren that make up the majority of motor vehicle crashes.

So, to protect everyone from your relatively high odds of crashing, we rein you in, especially during your teenage years.

You'll first get this piece of paper that says "Instruction Permit" on it. You're permitted to drive, but you need a parent, guardian, or driving instructor (if 15 ½) or licensed driver who is 21 years of age or older (if 16+) in the front passenger seat at all times.

This bears repeating. You can't drive alone. Anywhere. This is huge. If a cop catches you driving alone with only an Instruction Permit, it's likely that you won't get your real license until you're at least 18.

Think you're cool because you're 16 and have your probationary license? You can't drive between the hours of midnight and 6:00AM without a parent or guardian in your passenger seat unless you're driving to or from work, school, or the hospital. You also can't drive more than one non-family member unless your parent or guardian is with you. 17-year-olds have it a bit better: you can drive anytime except between 1:00AM and 5:00AM unless you have a parent or guardian with you or you're driving to or from work, school, or the hospital, and the one passenger rule doesn't apply.

The belief is that in this probationary time, you'll be extra super extra extra cautious. And if you're not, then you aren't ready to be inflicted on everyone else who has to use the same roads as you.

Already feeling antsy? Want to upgrade your Instruction Permit to a probationary license? Let's play a little game to see if you're eligible.

Instruction Permit: Choose Your Own Adventure (As Long As It Sticks to State Rules)

Let's say you've had your Instruction Permit for a while now and want to upgrade:

A. Are you 18 or older? If YES, go to B. If NO, go to C.
B. Congrats! None of this applies to you.
C. Have you had your permit for at least six months? If YES, go to D. If NO, go to E.
D. Have you successfully avoided incurring a moving traffic violation within that time? If YES, go to F. If NO, go to E.
E. Sorry kid, you're gonna have to wait a while.
F. Have you completed a driver education course, and has a parent, legal guardian, or approved custodian certified that you have had at least 50 hours of driving practice, of which at least ten were at night? If YES, go to G. If NO, go to E.
G. Have you passed a driving test? If YES, go to H. If NO, go to E.
H. Congrats! You're the proud owner of a shiny new Class D Probationary Ohio Driver's License.