First of all, it’s spelled B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Second, if you have racked up too many negligent driver points, your license will either be suspended or revoked by the DMV. You can apply for a new license at the end of this period, and hopefully you’ve changed your ways by then. Oh, sure, it starts with a few minor traffic violations here and there, but before you know it you’ll be committing grand larceny, bank fraud, and/or treason. We just don’t want to start seeing your name in the paper. Unless it’s for inventing some useful electronic gadget, or winning a peace prize. That would be pretty cool.

Each time you have a mark on your record, it stays there for at least 24 months (or longer, if you did something really shady). Your license can be revoked for six months if you accumulate 12 points within a 24-month period. If you can put up 30 points in 42 minutes, you’ll probably make tonight’s highlight reel on ESPN.

Here are a few examples of what can get you points on your driving record:

1-pointers

• Unlawful obstruction or interference of the view of an operator

• Failure to submit to an alcohol content test

• Violation of child restraint law

• Speeding (1-5mph over limit inside a city; 1-10mph over limit outside a city)

• Free throws, PATs, and soccer, hockey, and lacrosse goals

2-pointers

• Failure to yield to a pedestrian (no bodily harm to pedestrian)

• Speeding (6-10mph over limit inside a city; 11-15mph over limit outside a city)

• Slam dunks and safeties

3-pointers

• Texting while driving

• Speeding (11-35mph over limit inside a city; 16-35mph over limit outside a city)

• Negligent driving

• Field goals and any shot made from beyond the 3-point arc

4-pointers

• Speeding 36mph or more over limit

• Failure to yield to a pedestrian (bodily harm to pedestrian)

• Careless driving

5-pointers

• Reckless driving

• Rear-ending someone important, like Larry the Cable Guy

6-pointers

• Leaving the scene of a crash

• Willful reckless driving

• Driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs

• Failure to render aid in a crash in which you are involved

• Failure to report a crash to law enforcement

12-pointers

• 3rd offense of drunk driving

• Vehicular homicide