Why Should I Care About This Driver Record Baloney?

Why Should I Care About This Driver Record Baloney?

First of all, it’s spelled B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Second, if you have racked up too many negligent driver points, your license will either be suspended or revoked by the MVA. You can apply for a new license at the end of this period, and hopefully you’ve changed your ways by then. Oh, sure, it starts with a few minor traffic violations here and there, but before you know it you’ll be committing grand larceny, bank fraud, and/or treason. We just don’t want to start seeing your name in the paper. Unless it’s for inventing some useful electronic gadget, or winning a peace prize. That would be pretty cool.

Each time you have a mark on your record, it stays there FOREVER. FOREVER. FOREVER. Don’t worry, though, because it’s only the points from the last two years that actually matter. You’ll receive a bunch of warning letters prior to this point, so hopefully it won’t happen, but if you accumulate 8-11 points during any two-year period, your license will be suspended. If you get up to 12 points or more in two years, your license will be revoked. If you can put up 30 points in 42 minutes, you’ll probably make tonight’s highlight reel on ESPN.

Like a Vandal in the Wind

If you absolutely must destroy something, either break a pencil or beat up on your pillow. It’s far too costly to be caught doing anything worse, such as spray-painting graffiti onto the side of a bridge or keying your ex-boyfriend’s Mustang. If already licensed, you can lose your license for a couple years; if you’re not there yet, you can have the issuance of your license delayed for several years. And you’re going to need your license, because it sounds like you’ll have to be doing a lot of running from the authorities.

Here are a few examples of what can get you points on your driving record:

1-pointers

  • Speeding 9mph or less above the posted speed limit
  • Improper turn
  • Failure to yield
  • Free throws, PATs, and soccer, hockey, and lacrosse goals

2-pointers

  • Speeding 10-29mph above the posted speed limit
  • Failure to stop at a red light
  • Failure to stop for a school bus
  • Slam dunks and safeties

3-pointers

  • Driving with a suspended license
  • Field goals and any shot made from beyond the 3-point arc

5-pointers

  • Speeding 20mph or over above a 65mph speed limit
  • Speeding 30mph or over above the posted speed limit
  • Driving without a license
  • Speed contests
  • Driving alone with a permit
  • Driving without proof of insurance
  • Rear-ending someone important, like Cal Ripken, Jr.

6-pointers

  • Reckless driving

8-pointers

  • Clicking off your lights to evade identification

12-pointers

  • Driving while impaired by or under the influence of alcohol or drugs
  • Unlawful use of your driver’s license
  • Loaning or borrowing a driver’s license