Why Should I Care About This Driver Record Baloney?

Why Should I Care About This Driver Record Baloney?

First of all, it’s spelled B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Second, if you have racked up too many negligent driver points, your license will either be suspended or revoked by the DMV. You can apply for a new license at the end of this period, and hopefully you’ve changed your ways by then. Oh, sure, it starts with a few minor traffic violations here and there, but before you know it you’ll be committing grand larceny, bank fraud, and/or treason. We just don’t want to start seeing your name in the paper. Unless it’s for inventing some useful electronic gadget, or winning a peace prize. That would be pretty cool.

Each time you have a mark on your record, it stays there for 24 months (or longer, if you did something really shady). Your license can be suspended for 90 days if you accumulate 10-11 points. It can be revoked for six months if you accumulate 12 or more points. If you can put up 30 points in 42 minutes, you’ll probably make tonight’s highlight reel on ESPN.

Like a Vandal in the Wind

If you absolutely must destroy something, either break a pencil or beat up on your pillow. It’s far too costly to be caught doing anything worse, such as spray-painting graffiti onto the side of a bridge or keying your ex-boyfriend’s Mustang. If already licensed, you can lose your license for a couple years; if you’re not there yet, you can have the issuance of your license delayed for several years. And you’re going to need your license, because it sounds like you’ll have to be doing a lot of running from the authorities.

Here are a few examples of what can get you points on your driving record:

2-pointers

  • Following too closely
  • Driving wrong license class

3-pointers

  • Failure to follow seatbelt law
  • Violations contributing to an accident
  • Speeding 11-15mph over limit
  • Any shot made from beyond the 3-point arc

4-pointers

  • Speeding 16-20mph over limit
  • Failure to stop for a school vehicle with alternately flashing lights

5-pointers

  • Speeding 21mph or more over limit
  • Failure to yield right-of-way to a pedestrian
  • Operating a motor vehicle with a learner permit unaccompanied by a licensed driver
  • Staring at Newt Gingrich’s hair too long

6-pointers

  • Committing a misdemeanor crime involving the use of a motor vehicle
  • Failure to yield to an emergency vehicle

8-pointers

  • Leaving the scene of a collision in which no personal injury occurs
  • Turning off your headlights to avoid detection by a police officer

12-pointers

  • Hit and run
  • Reckless driving
  • Fleeing or attempting to elude a police officer
  • Driving with a suspended or revoked license
  • Driving with someone else’s license
  • Vehicular assault/homicide
  • DUI