Why Should I Care About This Driver Record Baloney?

Why Should I Care About This Driver Record Baloney?

First of all, it’s spelled B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Second, if you have racked up too many negligent driver points, your license will either be suspended or revoked by the DMV. You can apply for a new license at the end of this period, and hopefully you’ve changed your ways by then. Oh, sure, it starts with a few minor traffic violations here and there, but before you know it you’ll be committing grand larceny, bank fraud, and/or treason. We just don’t want to start seeing your name in the paper. Unless it’s for inventing some useful electronic gadget, or winning a peace prize. That would be pretty cool.

Each time you have a mark on your record, it stays there for at least 48 months (longer if you did something really shady). Your license can be suspended if you accumulate 12 points within a 12-month period or 18 points in a 24-month period. If you can put up 30 points in 42 minutes, you’ll probably make tonight’s highlight reel on ESPN.

Like a Vandal in the Wind

If you absolutely must destroy something, either break a pencil or beat up on your pillow. It’s far too costly to be caught doing anything worse, such as spray-painting graffiti onto the side of a bridge or keying your ex-boyfriend’s Mustang. If already licensed, you can lose your license for a couple years; if you’re not there yet, you can have the issuance of your license delayed for several years. And you’re going to need your license, because it sounds like you’ll have to be doing a lot of running from the authorities.

Here are a few examples of what can get you points on your driving record:

1-pointers

  • Speeding 5-9mph over the posted speed limit
  • Free throws, PATs, and soccer, hockey, and lacrosse goals

2-pointers

  • Operating an unsafe vehicle
  • Failure to dim or turn on lights
  • Improper backing
  • Failure to signal or improper signal
  • Slam dunks and safeties

3-pointers

  • Driving in the wrong lane or direction on a one-way street
  • Driving through a safety zone
  • Improper turn
  • Failure to yield right-of-way
  • Field goals and any shot made from beyond the 3-point arc

4-pointers

  • Failure to yield to an emergency vehicle
  • Failure to observe traffic sign or signal
  • Failure to maintain or show proof of insurance
  • Driving on the wrong side of the road
  • Speeding 10-19mph over the posted speed limit
  • Careless driving
  • Rear-ending someone important, like John Elway

6-pointers

  • Failure to stop for a school bus
  • Speeding 20-39mph over the posted speed limit

8-pointers

  • Reckless driving
  • Driving while ability is impaired by alcohol

12-pointers

  • Speeding 40mph or more over the posted speed limit
  • Eluding or attempting to elude a police officer
  • Speed contests
  • Driving while intoxicated or under the influence of drugs
  • Leaving the scene of an accident