College 101
AP English Literature and Composition Article Type: Connect
AP® English Literature and Composition Sample Essays (the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly)
The free response section of the beloved AP® Lit exam requires three written responses from students:
(1) A literary analysis of a given poem
(2) A literary analysis of a given passage of prose fiction (this may include drama)
(3) An analysis that examines a specific concept, issue, or element in a work of literary merit selected by the student
We're focusing on the third here, which scores students on a scale of 1-9 (and fingers crossed, not 0). The essays below represent the range of scores, and they're followed up with a score breakdown showing you what to do, and uh, what not to do.
Something else you should do? Prepare for your AP exams with Shmoop.
Scoring Guidelines
For all things AP Lit, including exam format, past exams, and scoring information, refer to the College Board's AP Central page.
According to the College Board: "The score should reflect the quality of the essay as a whole—its content, style, and mechanics. Reward the students for what they do well. The score for an exceptionally well-written essay may be raised by 1 point above the otherwise appropriate score. In no case may a poorly written essay be scored higher than a 3."
The Prompt
Many works of literature deal with family conflicts, or with individual characters whose relationships with family members change over time, or play a significant role in the character's understanding of him- or herself.
In a well-written essay, analyze how a character's relationship to a family member or members, or a character's understanding of family, functions in the work, and what it shows about the characters and themes of the work as a whole. Do not merely summarize the plot. You may select a novel or a play of literary merit.
Score: 9
Madness, a theme that runs throughout William Shakespeare's Hamlet, manifests itself as both an authentic illness as well as a shrewd manipulation. By play's end, there is even a gray area between the two that is difficult to discern. But whether the concern is Ophelia truly losing her mind following her father's murder, Hamlet's act of madness after meeting with his father's ghost, or the arguable proposition that Hamlet's "antic disposition" has devolved into the genuine article, one thing is for certain—Hamlet's relationships with Gertrude and Claudius have the greatest effect, directly or indirectly, on all of these instances.
Ophelia's madness is the only example that is assuredly real. Throughout much of the play, she is level-headed and quite competent. She's a bit sad, perhaps, at the vulgarity Hamlet displays toward her, especially prior to the play-within-a-play. It seems as if she truly loved Hamlet and was hopeful to marry him someday. Yet, she's able to carry out her father's wishes, returning the gifts Hamlet had given her in the past and informing him she does not love him.
When Ophelia appears before the king and queen following Polonius' death, though, she speaks nonsense and appears to have cracked. Her madness later takes the ultimate toll on her, as her drowning in the river is presumed a suicide.
This madness, and Ophelia's death, are certainly the result of Hamlet killing her father. But they can be traced back beyond her love for her father, all the way to Hamlet's relationship with his uncle/new stepfather. Hamlet's relationship with Claudius is already poor when the play begins because he's upset about Claudius taking his father's place so soon. It becomes immeasurably worse when King Hamlet's ghost arrives. The ghost informs Hamlet that Claudius murdered him so he could wear the crown of Denmark.
Once Hamlet learns of this duplicity, his whole relationship with Claudius is based on his desire for and inability to take revenge. Even though he takes an unreasonably long amount of time before finally gaining that revenge at the end of the play, everything he does from this point forward has something to do with it. It doesn't matter to Hamlet who is affected as he plots his revenge. It doesn't even matter to him that Ophelia, the woman he loved, is at first an innocent bystander, and then a pawn of her father and the king. Hamlet's act of madness centers on treating her in a borderline abusive manner.
Along with the way Hamlet treats her, the primary factor in Ophelia's suicide is Hamlet's murder of Polonius. Hamlet doesn't mean to kill Polonius, but it's a moment that most closely represents his act descending into real madness. When he is summoned to his mother's room following the play he stages, Hamlet's plan has just proven that the ghost told the truth, and Claudius really did murder his father. Hamlet's ire, and his desire to kill Claudius, are never higher than they are just then. This is also the moment when he hears a noise from behind the arras and, believing it's Claudius, Hamlet finally attempts to take his vengeance in a fit of rage. So, although he mistakenly kills the wrong man, Hamlet's utter disdain for Claudius ultimately leads to Ophelia's own madness and suicide.
Another moment where Hamlet might have truly lost it is when he stumbles upon Ophelia's funeral, which is how he learns of her suicide. After seeing Laertes' overblown show of grief, Hamlet makes a similar demonstration. He pronounces his love for Ophelia, jumps into the grave with Laertes, and they fight. He later claims he was just upset at Laertes' public display of affection, but it appears possible Hamlet is truly overcome at this point when realizing all that has happened. And again, since Ophelia's death can ultimately be traced back all the way to Hamlet's relationship with Claudius, it's fair to say this is another example of that relationship emphasizing the theme of madness in the play.
Despite Claudius being the center of his revenge plot, Hamlet is also greatly affected by his deteriorating relationship with Gertrude. Even before knowing the truth of his father's murder, Hamlet has lost his respect for his mother. He feels she's disrespected his father by remarrying so quickly after his father's death, and by marrying his father's brother. This is the main source of Hamlet's depression at the start of the play.
His relationship with his mother, then, makes his plan easier to carry out after meeting the ghost. Considering the change in his demeanor that everyone around the castle has noticed due to his depression, the "crazy" act he puts on seems like a logical progression. Had it been more out of character, more people might have caught on to his act.
The way things have changed with Gertrude also affects Hamlet because he doesn't have that source of comfort he should have from his mother. Considering she's part of the problem, he can't go to her for support, guidance, or comfort when trying to deal with Claudius and make good on his promise of revenge. Their relationship, then, isn't as directly responsible for the different acts of madness as is Hamlet's relationship with Claudius, but it holds some responsibility in terms of its omission from the help it should provide.
It's impossible to know whether Hamlet ever truly descends into madness, or if it never advances beyond his planned performance. Either possibility, though, is influenced most clearly by his relationships with Claudius and Gertrude. And the one definitive example of madness—Ophelia's cracking—is also a result of those relationships. Madness ultimately shapes this play more than any other theme, and the various types of madness on display all result from these two relationships of Hamlet.
Breakdown
Hoo boy, there's a lot of madness going on in Hamlet. This essay expertly argues that Hamlet's mommy and daddy problems are the cause of pretty much all of it. Doesn't matter much if it's real or fake, or even if he's the one gone mad.
This essay even makes a compelling case about how Ophelia's madness is only linked to her father's death superficially, and is really due to Hamlet's beef with Claudius.
Complete with textual evidence, attention to detail, and insightful analysis, this well-organized essay has a clear and convincing message. If there's a weakness, it's that this essay doesn't give equal time to Hamlet's relationship with Gertrude as it does to his relationship with Claudius. But the College Board understands that writing three essays in two hours is hard work, so those gracious folks aren't expecting absolute perfection. And because the prompt doesn't require more than one relationship discussion, anything mentioned about Gertrude is just gravy as far as we're concerned.
Score: 8
A central theme in Shakespeare's Hamlet is madness, which is demonstrated through Hamlet himself and through Ophelia. Hamlet's madness is seemingly all an act he perpetuates to help him gain vengeance for his father, while Ophelia's madness is a true tragedy. In both cases, the real and imagined cases of madness can be traced back to Hamlet's relationships with his mother and stepfather, Gertrude and Claudius.
Ophelia's madness is undeniably real. In her early scenes, she shows herself as a good daughter who is willing to carry out her father's plans, even though it pits her against Hamlet. Yet, following her father's death, she cracks. She sings and talks nonsense, and unlike Hamlet, there's no reason for her to put on an act. Following the unhinged manner in which she acts in front of the king and queen, it's not much of a surprise to discover that Ophelia has committed suicide.
Ophelia's madness and death are a direct result of Hamlet killing her father. But there's also a deeper reason for her madness. Her father's death isn't even supposed to happen. It's a mistake that stems from Hamlet's relationship with Claudius, and his desire for revenge.
Once Hamlet learns of Claudius' role in his father's death, everything becomes about taking revenge. All Hamlet's thoughts and actions are driven by what he's learned about Claudius. It doesn't matter to Hamlet who is affected as he plots his revenge. It doesn't matter to Hamlet that Ophelia is at first an innocent bystander, and then a pawn of her father and the king. He still purposely uses her, the woman he loves, as his primary way of putting on his act of madness. He treats her intentionally poorly as a means of showing everyone around him how crazy he's become, all in the name of fulfilling his plans for revenge.
The combination of Hamlet's horrendous treatment of her, topped with his murder of her father, is what drives Ophelia over the edge. When Hamlet kills Polonius, this is one moment where his act might possibly have given way to true madness. This happens directly after the play-within-a-play, which is when Hamlet discovers proof for himself that Claudius really killed his father. That revelation, and his belief that Claudius was the one spying on his mother and him, drives Hamlet to blindly drive his sword through the tapestry, which conceals Polonius. He does this in a fit of rage because of his hatred of Claudius. Polonius really ends up as collateral damage—as does Ophelia—but her madness, both their deaths, and Hamlet's possible true madness in that moment, are all the result of Hamlet's hatred of Claudius.
If Hamlet's feelings toward Claudius are to blame for all these events, then they are also naturally the reason Hamlet might have lost his mind a second time, this time at Ophelia's funeral. When he and Horatio come upon her funeral and he realizes she has killed herself, he understands the reasoning must be due to Polonius' death, possibly coupled with how he'd been treating her. And Hamlet knows better than anyone that, without his grudge against Claudius and need to put on his "antic disposition," none of this would have happened. This drives Hamlet to reveal himself to the gathering, jump down into the grave with Laertes, and begin a fight with him. It is possible this is simply a continuation of his act, but this could also be a moment of true emotion and hysteria overtaking him. He knows his actions drove Ophelia to her grave. He also knows Claudius is the reason behind all his actions.
Hamlet's poor relationship with his mother is also a cause of issues for him. He has already lost his respect for his mother because of her remarrying so quickly after his father's death, and because she married his father's brother. Even as the play begins, Hamlet is depressed, and it's primarily based on his mother's actions and what they've done to his relationship with her.
This relationship with his mother, then, helps him carry out his plan after meeting the ghost. Everyone has already seen a drastic change in his behavior and demeanor, so the "crazy" act he puts on seems like a logical progression. If it had come out of nowhere, it might have been harder for anyone to buy into.
Hamlet's madness, whether entirely an act or a combination of performance meeting reality, is a result of his relationships with Gertrude and Claudius. And though Ophelia would probably blame Hamlet for her condition, it's clear her madness also finds its roots in the toxic state of affairs between Hamlet and his parents. There's no escaping madness throughout the play, and all examples of it are rooted in that relationship.
Breakdown
Hamlet's relationship with Claudius is center stage again in this essay. Most of the persuasive analysis about the theme of madness comes from this area, with just a little bit of help provided by his disgust with Gertrude.
No doubt this essay is still plenty insightful when it discusses the reasons for Ophelia's transformation from dutiful daughter to raving crackpot. But there's a bit less evidence from the text and sophisticated language in this essay than in the nine-pointer.
Score: 7
A central theme in Hamlet is madness, which is demonstrated through both Hamlet and Ophelia. Hamlet's madness is primarily an act to help him gain vengeance for his father, although it's possible it becomes real at a few key moments. Meanwhile, Ophelia's madness is definitely real. In either case, this madness can be traced back to Hamlet's relationships with Gertrude and Claudius.
Ophelia's madness is undeniably real. Early in the play, she seems fine. She's a good daughter to Polonius and does what he says, even though it hurts her to make Hamlet upset. Following her father's death, though, she cracks. She's nothing like what she was earlier, singing and talking nonsense. Later, we find out she has committed suicide. This is a drastic change from what she's like in the beginning. And while this change is because of what Hamlet does, it goes deeper than that. Everything that causes her madness stems from Hamlet's relationship with Claudius, and his desire for revenge.
All Hamlet's thoughts and actions are driven by what he's learned about Claudius. It doesn't even matter to him that he hurts Ophelia in the process of his revenge. He purposely uses her, the woman he loves, as his primary way of putting on his act of madness. He treats her poorly to show everyone around him how crazy he's become, all to help him fulfill his plans for revenge.
Hamlet's abusive treatment of Ophelia, along with his murder of her father, drives her to madness. When Hamlet kills Polonius, this is one moment where his act might possibly have given way to true madness. He commits this murder in a fit of rage, but he believes it's Claudius he's killing, not Polonius. Polonius' interference puts him in the wrong place at the wrong time, right when Hamlet might be demonstrating genuine madness himself.
Hamlet might have also legitimately been mad with grief at Ophelia's funeral. When Hamlet discovers she has killed herself, he realizes his actions must have caused this. And he knows that, without his grudge against Claudius and need to act crazy, she would still be alive. This drives Hamlet to reveal himself to the gathering, jump down into the grave with Laertes, and begin a fight with him. It is possible this is simply a continuation of his act, or it might be something more.
Hamlet's relationship with Gertrude also plays a part in the theme of madness in the play. Even before knowing the truth of his father's murder, Hamlet has lost his respect for his mother because he feels she's disrespected his father by remarrying so quickly after his father's death, and by marrying his father's brother. This is why Hamlet is depressed at the start of the play.
His relationship with his mother, then, makes his plan easier to carry out after meeting the ghost. Considering how he has changed because of his depression, the "crazy" act he puts on seems like a logical progression.
All the madness displayed in this play has its roots in Hamlet's relationships with Claudius and Gertrude. The toxic nature of those relationships causes him to act crazy, possibly to really be crazy at a few points in time, and causes the actions that instigate Ophelia's madness.
Breakdown
This essay gives "reasonable analysis," as the College Board would put it, of Hamlet's scheme, how it causes Ophelia's mental breakdown, and how it all stems from the toxic fumes of his relationships with Claudius and Gertrude.
The analysis isn't as thorough or perceptive as the highest scored essays, though. For example, when Hamlet and Laertes duke it out in the graveyard like the Undertaker and Kane, there's only a passing mention of the fact that Hamlet might not be acting anymore.
Score: 6
Madness plays a crucial role in William Shakespeare's Hamlet. Hamlet himself has toxic relationships with his mother, Queen Gertrude, and his uncle, King Claudius. These relationships instigate a great deal of the madness in the play, from both Hamlet and Ophelia.
Ophelia is the character who demonstrates genuine madness. Late in the play, she seems to lose her mind. She speaks a lot of nonsense to the king and queen, and shortly later, we find out that she's dead of an apparent suicide. It seems as if her father's murder at Hamlet's hands is the cause of her madness. But, looking deeper, Hamlet only kills Polonius accidentally, when he thinks he's killing Claudius. So it's still Hamlet's terrible relationship with Claudius, and his desire for revenge, that really causes Ophelia's madness.
The reason Hamlet's relationship with Claudius is so toxic is two-fold. The main reason forms when the ghost of Hamlet's father shows up and tells him that Claudius actually killed him. This is what causes Hamlet to act crazy. He's beside himself with anger and grief, but he still feels he needs to determine if the ghost is telling the truth. He thinks that by acting as if he's lost his mind, he'll be able to investigate what the ghost has told him, and probably carry out vengeance against Claudius, as well.
Even before the ghost showed up, though, Hamlet's relationship with Claudius was also strained because of Hamlet's depression. Hamlet already hated that Gertrude remarried so quickly. And it's worse that she remarried Claudius, since he was the king's brother. Claudius doesn't like the way Hamlet was acting so down in the dumps, or the way he continually makes nasty remarks toward Gertrude. But once Hamlet really starts acting crazy and putting on this show to investigate, Claudius actually tries to have him killed. He seems to see through the act more than everyone else, who all think Hamlet is only acting this way because Ophelia rejected him.
Hamlet's relationships with Gertrude and Claudius are the determining factor in all the madness in the play. These relationships had already been affected because of Hamlet's grief for his dead father and his perceived lack of respect from his mother. Learning of Claudius' betrayal is too much for him to bear, causing his act of madness, and also indirectly being responsible for Ophelia's madness, as well.
Breakdown
The fall from a 7 score to a 6 score is more apparent than the fall from a 9 to an 8, and maybe even from an 8 to a 7. In this essay, the link between Hamlet's steaming pile of a relationship with Claudius and Gertrude and the play's madness is still explained, but the insight is getting weaker and less thorough. The discussion's beginning to get a little artificial for everyone's liking here.
The student's analysis, or lack thereof, of Ophelia's madness, and the need to look beyond her father's death to understand the real cause, is noticeably short and underdeveloped when compared to the higher scored essays. This essay also fails to examine whether Hamlet might've actually gone a little crazy himself in a couple of instances. It's just presumed that everything he does is an act, which could be true...if we had more discussion to back it up. (But really, that's probably giving him too much credit.)
Score: 5
In Hamlet, by William Shakespeare, the character Hamlet's poor relationships with his mother, Queen Gertrude, and his uncle, King Claudius, show a great deal about his madness, and madness is a major theme in the play.
It's shown early on that Hamlet is unhappy with the fact that his mother remarried so soon after her husband's (Hamlet's father's) death. The fact that she marries Hamlet's uncle just makes it worse. Hamlet consistently acts childish and makes snide remarks, like when he refers to Claudius as his "uncle-father" and Gertrude as his "aunt-mother." He has great disdain for her actions and considers them incestuous. Even though he goes on to put on a show of madness, it's possible that he actually does go a little mad, and there's no question that Gertrude's actions are a part of that.
Hamlet's relationship with Claudius contributes to his madness even more. He's already upset about this new marriage, which has caused him to lose his respect for his mother. Now, when the ghost of his father shows up and tells him that Claudius actually killed him, this makes things even worse. This is what actually causes Hamlet to act crazy. He thinks that by acting as if he's lost his mind, it will be easier for him to investigate what the ghost has told him, and probably to carry out vengeance against Claudius, as well.
Even before the ghost showed up, though, Hamlet's relationship with Claudius was also strained because of Hamlet's depression. Claudius doesn't like the way Hamlet was acting so down in the dumps, or the way he continually makes nasty remarks toward Gertrude. Once Hamlet really starts acting crazy, Claudius goes so far as to try to have him killed. He seems to see through the act more than everyone else, who all think Hamlet is only acting this way because Ophelia rejected him.
Hamlet's relationships with Gertrude and Claudius have a huge impact on the theme of madness. The changes that occur when you take a young man already grieving over his dead father and his perceived lack of respect from his mother, and combine them with the news of betrayal from another member of his own family, is enough to cause Hamlet to choose to act mad, and maybe even to actually go a little mad.
Breakdown
The difference between a 6 and a 5 is that a 5 is lacking even more in organization, is more simplistic and general in its analysis, and the biggie: it leans on plot summary more than it should.
This essay provides an accurate, but relatively one-dimensional, discussion of Hamlet's relationships with Gertrude and Claudius, and how they affect his show of madness. But the discussion doesn't go deeper than some nicely summarized plot points and it never digs into Ophelia's madness, which is a major part of the theme throughout the play.
Score: 4
There is no doubt that a character's relationship with one or more family members or friends in a book or play can have a drastic impact on the story as a whole. In the play Hamlet, the relationships that Hamlet, the main character, has with Gertrude, Claudius, and Ophelia, are these types of relationships. These relationships affect the theme of madness in the play.
Hamlet's relationship with his mother has taken a significant turn for the worse since his father died and she quickly remarried his uncle, the dead king's brother. Hamlet sees this as a betrayal of his father, as if his death didn't even affect Gertrude at all. He feels it's totally unreasonable for her to have moved on and remarried so quickly. Hamlet's relationship with her, then, becomes testy, as he treats her quite badly for what he thinks are her sins. If Hamlet really goes mad, Gertrude's actions are definitely a part of that.
Claudius has an even more direct effect on Hamlet's madness. Hamlet is disgusted enough with him already because he views this new marriage as incestuous. But when the ghost of King Hamlet appears and tells Hamlet that Claudius actually murdered him for the crown, this is what really puts Hamlet on the road toward madness. It's his desire to avenge his father that causes him to put on a display of madness.
Lastly, and maybe most importantly, is Hamlet's relationship with Ophelia. It appears that Hamlet and Ophelia had been in love with one another at some point in time. It's never entirely clear how Hamlet really feels about her as the play progresses. His treatment of her is a major part of his plan, since she's the one who relays information about his behavior back to Polonius and Claudius. So, their relationship is part of Hamlet's fake madness. But after Hamlet kills Polonius, it manifests real madness. Ophelia truly loses her mind and winds up killing herself. And Hamlet, upon discovering this at her funeral, jumps out of hiding and into her grave, seeming to have gone mad himself, at least momentarily.
In conclusion, madness is a major theme throughout the play. Hamlet's relationships with Gertrude and Claudius both cause him to put his plan of demonstrating madness into effect. And his relationship with Ophelia is not only a major part of that plan, but it also might cause him some real, temporary madness, as well as Ophelia's legitimate fatal madness.
Breakdown
This essay is about as deep as an above ground swimming pool.
It's fairly well-written, but Hamlet's relationships with Gertrude and Claudius are only given a paragraph each, so there's not much going on beyond, "Hamlet's uncle killed his father, so now Hamlet will act crazy." We'd call that an unsupported, oversimplified, plot-based explanation.
Plus, instead of discussing Ophelia's madness as a consequence of Hamlet's relationship with Claudius, this student discusses Hamlet's direct relationship with Ophelia. The problem is, Ophelia's not a family member, so not only does this discussion not fit the question, but there are a lot of complexities left unexplained here.
Score: 3
In Hamlet, Hamlet's understanding of family, and his relationship with some of his family members, affects the themes of the whole play. His relationships with his mother, Gertrude, and uncle/stepfather, Claudius, in particular, have the most drastic effects on the themes.
Hamlet's relationship with his mother isn't good anymore. When the play begins, his father, the king, is already dead, and his mother has already remarried Hamlet's uncle. Hamlet doesn't like the fact that she remarried right away. He thinks this happened way too quickly. Hamlet also thinks that the fact that she married her dead husband's brother is disgusting and wrong.
Hamlet's relationship with his uncle, the new king and his new stepfather, also isn't good anymore. Hamlet doesn't get along with him for all the same reasons he doesn't get along with his mother anymore. But Claudius also became the king, which is supposed to be Hamlet's job in the future. So, Hamlet has even more reason to hate Claudius now.
The changes in Hamlet's relationships with his mother and stepfather affect the play's themes pretty drastically. They show that family is important, but if what the ghost told Hamlet is true, then it's really not everything. Clearly, Gertrude and Claudius valued power more than family when they plotted against the old king. And Hamlet's sanity is also directly impacted by these two relationships. These changes are what cause him to put on an act of madness. But it's possible that he actually goes a little mad. Some readers read the play that way, and if Hamlet really does go crazy a little bit, it's because of the crimes Gertrude and Claudius committed, and how they affected Hamlet.
Hamlet's relationships with Gertrude and Claudius have a huge effect on the whole play. Their evil actions change who Hamlet is as a person and a character. The changes in these relationships have major repercussions on the themes of family and madness.
Breakdown
Yikes. This essay is way oversimplified. It's a 3 and not a 4 because it's oversimplified to the point of it being a "misreading and/or inept writing," as the College Board would call it. Sure, it hits on the changes in Hamlet's relationships with Gertrude and Claudius, but by barely scraping the surface, it's little more than a summary.
This essay attempts to touch on the ghost, but misses the mark in discussing this figure's critical role in informing Hamlet of the truth and driving the wedge between him and his "parents." The essay also fails to go beyond identifying family and madness as two themes in the play, so there's no real insight presented on these talking points.
Score: 2
In Hamlet, Hamlet had a lot of problems. Hamlet's problems include problems with his family, including his mother Gertrude, his new father Claudius and his sister Ophelia. Hamlet's problems are that he thinks his mother married his new father too fast after his original father died and also that he's in love with his sister.
Because Hamlet hates his mother and new father, it causes him to have a lot of angst. He thinks a lot about killing himself. And when he finds out Opheila doesn't love him the way he loves her it makes him even more upset; this is why he jumped into Ophelia's grave at her funeral after he escaped from the pirates who took over his ship and killed Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Hamlet's also upset that his friends Rosencrantz and Guildenstern don't like him anymore and are trying to trap him because the king asked them to.
If his mom didn't remarry only two days after his dad died then Hamlet wouldn't be so upset. He's not a fan of his uncle so he doesn't want him to be king. And also, Hamlet wants to be king someday. He feels like he's being replaced and like he'll never get to be king now. He thinks the king is after him so he never has a challenger to the throne, but Hamlet still doesn't want to kill the king. He thinks it's wrong and that it will automatically send him to hell, so he refuses to do it for the ghost.
Because of the death of Hamlet's father, his mother remarrying his uncle after just two days, and his sister not loving him romantically like he loved her (and then she killed herself, too, which upset Hamlet even more), Hamlet is upset, angry, and suicidal. His relationships with all his family members really changed a lot because all these things happened to him, and because his friends turned their back on him.
Breakdown
We've moved on to the College Board's class of poorly-written essays here. This writer clearly misread certain parts of the play, and the essay, aside from being poorly-written and weighed down with poor grammar and structure, is filled with inaccuracies.
For starters, Ophelia isn't Hamlet's sister, so (1) the essay is mainly a summary, (2) it's poor summary at that, and (3) it's completely haphazard. It jumps around from Ophelia's death to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern to Claudius not wanting Hamlet to challenge him for the throne. All without rhyme or reason. This incoherent essay also fails to answer the question, because it never mentions the themes of the play and how they're influenced by Hamlet's relationships with his family.
Score: 1
Hamlet used to, like, love his mom. But then she helped kill his dad. And then she married his uncle. So now he hates her.
Hamlet doesn't really know how family works. Now he's got a messed up situation with his mom and his uncle. His uncle is the new king and his dad is dead. His dad was the king. His dad's ghost is hanging around trying to get Hamlet to kill the new king.
Hamlet doesn't have a relationship with his uncle. I mean, how do you have a relationship with the guy who killed your dad and married your mom? He wants to kill his uncle for most of the book but he always chickens out or can't do it at the right time.
This is a bad and weird situation for Hamlet. He doesn't get along with anybody in his family. He's always moping around and acting all emo. And then he kills a bunch of people and gets killed. His family situation doesn't really work good.
Breakdown
There's no real introduction or conclusion to this essay, and there's only the vaguest attempt to answer the question. At one point, the essay—er, this informal piece of writing unrecognizable as an essay—even addresses the reader. It's a 1 because it gets a few facts right, but aside from those, this writing is way too short to carry any substance.
"This is a bad and weird situation" hardly passes for insight. 'Nuff said.
Score: 0
A score of 0 is either blank or very ugly. Avert your eyes.
AP is a registered trademark of the College Board, which was not involved in the production of, and does not endorse, this product.