You've been working on the railroad all the live-long day, but hopefully since you hold the power of your future in your hands, it's not just to pass the time away. You won't have to ask Dinah to blow her horn because you'll toot your own as you help people travel the world (or at least commute to work) in style, to the rhythm of the train tracks. 

You'll basically be in charge of the entire train and her crew, making sure the locomotive rolls into each station on time and without a hitch.

 

The front is whichever way you happen to be going. (Source)

As train conductor, you'll be responsible for making sure every passenger gets safely to their destination—and if any of them run into you during the trip, you become part of the story. Half of your $55,000 a year job is going to be customer service and the other half's going to be working closely alongside the other railroad workers (source). After all, no matter how good you are, you can't be on twelve train cars at once.

At the most basic level, you're in charge of all that ticketing business (source). You stroll up and down the aisle, checking that people have their tickets—and if they don't, you charge them the fee of a ticket at an inflated price for not buying in advance.

Obviously, you're a real stern person here.

You've also got to have your friendly neighborhood conductor thing down. We hope you've been doing your scales and working on that smooth, buttery voice of yours, because you're going to be doing a lot of talking. You'll tell passengers where they are, where they're going, and what neat sight they can see coming up on the left. You'll be announcing stations and reminding everyone that there's no smoking on the train.

Are these poor souls going to be delayed? Will they be skipping a station? Are the doors not opening in one of the cars? Do they need to get down and get funky with it? Passengers need answers, and thankfully you're there to provide them.

Passengers also need to arrive at their destination in one piece. You're responsible for the safety of every person on board, including the entire crew. In fact, you're basically just the safety captain, making sure the Good Ship Choo-Choo Train stays on course and doesn't run into any icebergs. Yeah, so the analogy's not perfect.

And, Captain Safety, we'd like to introduce you to your new best friend and side kick: the locomotive engineer. This train whisperer is the person driving the whole kit and caboodle down the tracks, and you'll be talking to them throughout the trip to make sure everything's running smoothly (source). 

They're going to tell you when there are problems on their end, and you'll be inspecting each car for damages or malfunctions before the train even leaves the station.

 

Go ahead and toot your own horn. (Source)

You'll also gossip a little bit. Hey, even train employees need to blow off a little steam sometimes.

You're more than just brains and conflict-resolution skills—you're also rippling with muscles. That's why you also oversee and are responsible for the loading and unloading of any cargo (source). This is mostly an issue if you are primarily a conductor on freight trains, but even passengers are going to want your help getting their huge suitcase into the overhead storage bin. Obviously, you're happy to oblige—you're getting paid for it, after all.

Don't put those muscles away yet, because you're also going to be opening and closing the train doors, switching, coupling and uncoupling cars—basically disassembling a train and moving things around. 

And then there's the most exhausting of tasks: paperwork. You're going to fill out paperwork for each of the cars on any given train, keep a log of the journey, and keep a record of any shipments you may carry.

Your workday's going to be fairly irregular. Trains are always moving, every hour of every day, all across the country. Unless you're on a commuter train that only runs when office workers do, you'll be dealing with strange hours and meeting even stranger people. You could be gone every other week in some cases, which means your family life could suffer.

But if you love trains and don't see yourself doing anything else, then climb aboard and see if this career track is right for you.

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