Click, rev, moan. You have exactly 6.3 minutes before your off-campus lunch pass expires and your butt needs to be glued to your Algebra II class chair. Your mom’s Ford Fusion purrs like a kitten, a big bad kitten that has a bit of a flea infestation, as you hammer it through the yellow light, before it turns red. Or at least you think so until you see the red and blue flashing lights behind you and hear the officer’s booming voice through the speaker instructing you to pull over. You should’ve settled for cafeteria pink slime. It’d be a lot cheaper and easier to explain to your folks than the ticket you’re about to get.

Maybe the cop will be a NASCAR fan and cut you a break when you tell him of your dreams to win the Sprint cup. You just couldn’t help yourself, you were born to speed. Besides, you’re in training. More than likely though, you’ll be taking the bus for the rest of the school year and the only racing you’ll be doing for a while is on Mario Kart.

NASCAR, short for National Association of Stock Car Racing, has been around since the 1940s when a bunch of boot leggers souped up their Model T’s to evade the law and decided it was fun. The cars are modified versions of your standard Fords and Chevy’s with some Honda’s thrown in for multiculturalism, but basically this is an American sport. American as apple pie, and country music and rodeos, an only slightly less dangerous sport as NASCAR racing is. NASCAR is American as baseball, and second only to football in being the Tweetworthy.

You need nerves of steel to be a NASCAR racer. If getting in a mosh pit of metal with a bunch of drivers as hard-headed as you are; all gunning for the finish line by going round and round in circles on a dirt track that’s slicker than a used car salesman, all while playing chicken, is your cup o’ tea, then by all means go tell your folks to buy you a fire suit and some track time – we’re sure they won’t have any objections to you putting yourself in to a speeding, flammable deathtrap.

You also need strength and stamina to handle the wheel with that kind of horsepower. You could be looking at miles and miles of track, turning against G-forces and no, there is no power steering. All this’ll put incredible strain on your heart, but add in the 135 degree heat in a tiny caged car – it’s certainly no walk in the park. Racers are expected to be strong and fit – no doughnuts, plenty of aerobics, weights for upper body strength.

And then there’s the hydration problem. You need lots and lots of fluids for a race. Drivers burn several thousand calories per race and with the heat and stress, run the risk of dehydration. Driver Jeff Gordon has a straw that runs through his helmet that he can drink off of, other racers drink before hand – and if you have to pee? The only pit stops you’re allowed are when your car needs gas, so either you hold it in or go in your suit (Yes, you heard us right. Some drivers pee in their pants. We told you this wasn’t a job for the weak-hearted).

Did we mention the odds of you dying in a fiery crash every time you enter a race? Yeah, we’re just reminding you. This is a very, very dangerous job.

On the plus side, at least you’re not going the 220 mph that Formula 1 Drivers do. And a stock car also doesn’t cost the cool 9.5 million that the Formula 1 cars do (at between $125,000 and $150,000 NASCAR autos are a bargain).

Also on the positive front is the money. NASCAR drivers make decent money. Not as much as other pro athletes, considering how popular the sport is and what a huge fan base is involved; but if you’re going to risk your life at least you’ll pocket more than a cop or a fireman (minus the pension). A six figure salary for the newbies and millions for the champs isn’t unheard of.

However, you don’t just wake up one day and decide to be a NASCAR racer. Like other professional sports, many drivers start training as soon as they’re walking, encouraged by NASCAR fans who want to tell everyone they’re raising the next Jeff Gordon or Joey Logano (or Danica Patrick).

You’ll need money to pay for training and track time when you’re learning how to drive.

You’ll also need a good business sense and a great personality to charm the big companies who own the cars and the cash. Drivers represent the companies that have their logos plastered all over everything and everyone. Just check out Danica Patrick, the Go Daddy Girl.

Or check out the patches on Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s suit.

You also can’t be camera shy or bad at public speaking. Well-spoken drivers, who know how to make a good impression in front of the camera, are important to winning over the publics’ hearts and the suits’ money. You don’t have to be a Harvard grad and med student like Patrick Staropoli, but then again, it doesn’t hurt either (and you can patch yourself up if you find yourself in a near death experience on the track that way).

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