"The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round...." Perhaps you remember this...cheery song. And how it was sung over and over and over again until you wanted to rip your hair out and set the bus on fire just to make it stop.

No? Just us?

Well then, perhaps after a while it actually made you think, "Man, I want to be a bus driver!" If so, splendid. We need people like you to take us places.

But what does it take to become one of these driven individuals? Not much, really.

While your brother is slaving away in his seemingly one-hundredth year of neurosurgeon school, you can get busy fulfilling your bus-driving dreams with a high school education. Hold on, that's not all. Before you pump your fist in the face of your weary brother, you will also have to get a commercial driver's license and pass an exam that shows you will be able to get from point A to point B, and all the points in between, on time.

Choices, Choices, Choices

Once you've gotten that far, what sort of bussery would you like to get into? While the demand for neurosurgeons is great (let's give your brother some credit...it is brain surgery), opportunities for bus drivers are also bountiful. The pay is...well, not so bountiful. On the upper end of the pay scale, local transit drivers (operating within metropolitan and suburban areas) and inter-city drivers (operating between regions and states) make an average salary of $34,000.

Who needs you anyway? (Source)

Delivering our future scientists (and bus drivers) to their schools every day is noble, but it doesn't get you any gold stars or extra bucks. The average salary for school bus drivers is $29,000.

Still, if being on the road, meeting all kinds of people, and using the mysterious and undecipherable bus public announcement system puts a twinkle in your eye, then who really needs that vacation home in Martha's Vineyard anyway?

I Can Handle That

Just keep it cool. (Source)

As a bus driver, you'll need the people skills of a diplomat. Yes, there will be days when all passengers have a happy "Hello!" for you, are on their best bus behavior, and will even thank you upon departing. Then, there are those other days. Not everyone believes in taking a shower every day and sometimes the one who believes in it the least sits right behind you—for the next five stops. Talk about uptown funk. Nor does everyone believe that paying for the bus ride is part of the deal.

Whatever is a bus driver to do? Use your knowledge from your sociology and psychology high school classes (yes, it does work in the real world). There will always be passengers who are downright disorderly and interfere with the safe and pleasant travel of others. You must handle challenging situations with patience, tolerance, respect, and some understanding of the human psyche.

Last, but Not Least

You will also need a clean driving record and a very clean bill of health. A history of tickets for rolling stops, a lack of peripheral vision in one eye, color blindness, or bad stuff in your system (illegal drugs) will get you totally fired. You may want to get Joe No-Shower to his next stop pronto, but you need to get him there safely. In addition, if you have trouble parallel parking a Smart Car, you might want to reconsider navigating the city streets in a forty-foot bus.

Most transit employers prefer that you are at least twenty-one, so after you toss that mortarboard in the air, you may have a few years to climb a mountain or herd sheep somewhere before you settle down behind the wheel.

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